Webmaster & Other Flora & Fauna

by C A Holmes

The depth and breath of the internet landscape is enormous. The roles and tasks needed to interact within it, discrete, specific. For those who know all, the following is redundant, but fun. For those who don’t, welcome to the jungle. The following are a few flora and fauna you may find there. Just keep this handy if you need to interact with any of the natives.

A Webmaster is the Queen/King of the website jungle. They can do just about everything. Code, security, design/software, database management, hardware. Or they can manage others who do the same. The whole ball of wax. They have overview, breath and depth. When they are great, you never hear them roar, you just take your 24/7/365 life of a machine world manifestation completely for granted. Many times there is more than one person taking on all these roles under the webmaster. People fall into different areas of knowledge and expertise.

1. Coders: using machine language, they like to build worlds. They are the brick-makers and architects of the internet. They love the detail which creates a world, they love the maps which expand the world. They know what it actually takes to make something on the internet. Be kind to them. Don’t force them to build a cathedral to the immortals one day because you had a wild hair, when all you really need is a local pub to show off your clarinet playing. Think of the makers of the Silk Road. It brought ideas, services, culture and change where ever it went. It went to the capitals but also past very small hamlets. To make it you needed a lot of people. Every coder in the world is making these roads. They are practical, goal oriented, the best can make anything happen anywhere. Hopefully. Or have associates who can. Just like the Persian Way became the road of Alexander, became the road to China, became the road to the West. A lot of brick making, (machine language); a lot of roads, (map makers in the machine world).
2. Data base managers: these people like to collect. All the names, emails, social media, addresses and contact info and put it into a useful order so that it becomes a mailing list for sending out…what ever you want. And a feedback list when people opt in with their emails for…what ever you want. They should always be making your list more exact, verifying who is opting in, or buying, or taking an interest. You didn’t know women 35 to 50 in Iceland like your blog, or men with beards under 21, or over 60 in Australia, now go to page 2 of your site immediately? Well, now you do. I remember how exciting it was to receive product orders from every continent but Antartica. But give me time. I’m still working on all the way down under. What would make a penguin opt in? Or a researcher moving so slow its like being awake while asleep, or vice versa? Can we make a data base of those people and reach them. Is there anyone else in the world who wants to talk to them, at night, when they can’t sleep?
3. Designers/Software/Apps/Social Media: these people like to create relationship worlds. Not just a visual fields that are beautiful, but a structure that creates interaction. They demonstrate your “identity” or “brand” (that overused, under needed word) which creates your relationship to your group or market, using design. They also create or update all sorts of interesting and valuable options using designs/software/apps/social media, as the internet changes. These people need the freedom to create and the limitation of the goals you have. Good people in this field will help you define your goals. So you know what you are getting, instead of just leaping on the bandwagon of what everyone else is doing. A local coffee shop and an international bank, may both have the same number of web pages, social links and apps associated with it, but completely different goals, clientele and relationships. They help you clarify your difference, and express it using words, pictures, media. They also can help you select your social media, or an app for a specific purpose. They are usually ahead of the curve, but also can be stuck in their favorites. Find out which ones they are.
4. Hardware: These people are micro-mechanics. They make machines. They also make sure your machine is actually working. They have computers, to read computers, to diagnose what is happening. In the best of all possible worlds they design hardware based on seeing an actual need, or creating a need you never knew you had. Look at all of the machine doodads that attach to your computer or smartphone. Thank a hardware person. They made that thing up, because they spilled coffee on their laptop one day, now we have an underwater designer laptop which can also be run by dolphin calls. They like actual things you can see and touch, which can do “what ever you want”. The very best of them tinker for hours to perfect something. Sometimes what they design will not make sense to everyone. There was a man who did not invest in Xerox because he could not imagine why anyone would ever need a copy of anything. He was ninety when he told this story of regret. Never underestimate the hardware nerd. Their minds live in the future, but they like to get their hands, not dirty… “machiney”. A new word I just made up meaning: thought materialized. Ok.
5. Security: these people are the cutting edge watchdogs of a worldwide landscape that is changing every single day. They like to outthink the bad guys. They have to understand all the above jobs simultaneously. At their best, they are the defenders of freedom and safety. To be an expert though, they have to think like criminals and get there first, before the criminal does. Sometimes they start out as the very people they are now defending us all against. They must think like a double agent. They spend time “cleaning” the system. Sometimes they create shields against all out attack. In the future they may need to use all of the above to create something we don’t even know about yet. They always want to know the worst case scenario, but are paid to create the best case scenario. They are proactive, not just reactive. If you want to know where your next movie/tv scenario is coming from, look here. The rest of the people are considered just decoration by dramatists. Even though they’re not.

Take a techie to lunch even if their half way across the world. When things go wrong, thank them for all the times things went right. Then you will understand their world. Remember they do all this, while every day four point nine billion people use the internet; I have had to update that number in billions three times since I wrote this article, and every second more people join the jungle. And they do it most of the time without even roaring.

C A Holmes has written and given talks on Technology and Myth and Technology and Change all over the world, since she began playing with computers, television and film while still an embryo.

email: caholmescentral@gmail.com

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